The pentagon has five sides and four zip codes.

No better inspiration for subverting what is easily the most ponderous thing about today's retail experience: the request for your zip code. In a casual survey of nine major retailers, six asked for a zip. In an even more causual survey of salespeople, the most popular 'false' answers are 12345 (Schenectady, NY) and 90210 (Beverly Hills, CA). These are presumably ignored in the analysis of most merchant's data, but what if stores across America began showing inordinate purchases eminating from Washington, D.C.?

The Pentagon spends a lot of money, most of it probably not in retail. But they just might appreciate all the direct mail catalogues and cold calls their high profile in the national checkout line would precipitate.

You've got a duty to all that is partially funny and subversive to say one thing the next time you're asked for your zip code:

20350.

Go ahead, say it.

20350.

Once more.

Two zero three five zero.

It's easy to say and remember, and most importantly you're doing no one a great service.

Testing suggests most cashiers will balk at hearing a zip code that doesn't match one of the two dozen they hear most of the time. Remember, you're trying to change that, but in the meantime, be ready to say it twice. If it helps, you can elaborate by saying:

It's Virginia.

Keep in mind, in the long run, retailers will appreciate your efforts to provide a zip code so narrow, it covers only a part of a single building. Not just any building, but one with plenty of disposable income!

20350.